work rant, is all
i have no more energy left for this job. i have no motivation, pleasure, or excitement when i walk through the door. i have no pride for the words anymore. nothing excites me more than the day i tell them they can only torture me for 2 more weeks. sometimes i think i won’t even be able to do that…… and maybe it would be best if i was labeled “unrehirable” anyway. but nah, i wanna do everything right and break their freaking hearts because this is literally like the biggest breakup i’ve ever been a part of. it’s like knowing for a while that you’ve been needing to break it off but they’re clingy and won’t let you leave but their annoying habits get so much worse and sometimes you just sit there dreaming about killing them or
i’m going in today and requesting monday off also. so i’ll have monday, thursday, and friday off next week. like a fucking ~~VACATION~~. and i’m gonna use some PTO hours too, gotta cash those in before i peace it. but that means my sad days next week will be the other four. i’m just not happy there anymore, and it’s affecting my life OUTSIDE of those stupid doors, too. i need out. i need out so bad, and i’ve told my top 2 managers and they basically told me they can’t do anything.
they can’t do anything.
my boss said to me at least 3 times, “i don’t know what you want me to do.” i told him less hours, less DEPARTMENTS BECAUSE 4 AT ONCE IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS, and then this week bam another 40 hours. the other manager said “i don’t want you to have a nervous breakdown.” the fuck?
but hey, can you do reclamation, the promo cooler, fill/order/face/re-weigh meat, work/order deli, work/order milk, pull/order bakery, hang 1500 tags AND BE THE KEY CALL/BACKUP CASHIER WHEN NECESSARY?
it’s no longer fucking cute to give me 40 hours/week WITHOUT full-time benefits. it’s fucking WRONG. if i’m putting in those hours, you need to be doing something to make me happy about it and you HAVEN’T. nobody has. fuck this whole entire company i swear to god. i have plenty of friends still there but other than that, seriously fuck the entire system.
june 20 will mark the day i got my keys and started working full-time hours without the title. it’s been a full year. i’m fucking fed up, and i don’t even care what your defense is or how “IT’S GOING TO GET BETTER NEXT WEEK, YOU’LL SEE” because i have heard that EVERY SINGLE WEEK FOR ALMOST A YEAR AND I NO LONGER WANT THESE FUCKING KEYS.
it is so unhealthy for me to have this much hostility toward any person, place, or thing but lately all it’s done is snowballed at a rapid pace. and each day that i have to work, each week i see before me, i have no idea how i’m going to get through it. but i do, i don’t even shit on you guys even though i should. i work my 40 hours, i get my job done, and i do a damn good job despite all this. and nobody even fucking says thank you.
fuck this place so much. next day off is sunday and i’m not handling it well. i hate this place so much. i just want everyone to leave me alone.
got 2 emails for 2 different interviews.