over-indulging in a huge slice of humble pie.

had an awesome vacation this weekend in tahoe… very happy to be back home, though. if my parents would have told me prior that this trip would entail hordes of snow and an extended visit to a small town, i would have been like “NO THANKS, I’M GOOD.” i’m a major city girl these days, and though i’m completely in love with my bay area roots, this weekend reminded me how much i really do like traveling. you can’t fully appreciate what you love until you explore the “other”; perspective is everything. i tolerated historic virginia city longer than i thought i would, and even enjoyed the snow more than i thought. it wasn’t THAT cold and aside from some intense storm-driving yesterday, the snow brought me no harm.

vacation is all about over-indulging, it just depends on what the focus subject is. for some people it’s adrenaline, in the form of sports or things like gambling… for others it’s food, partying, relaxing, isolation, etc. with that said, i definitely over-indulged this weekend. our resort was amazing, their service was awesome and accommodations were so comfortable, gonna miss that little house, haha… we got fully refunded for the concert we went to in harrah’s and got VIP treatment instead of paying… got to talk and hang out with some of the band members post-show, in a fancy bar atop the casino where the bartender gave us a 1.5-hour “last call” (as in, he stayed open extra late JUST FOR US)… got FREE breakfast for 2 mornings, one a simple continental and the other a super exquisite buffet… enjoyed a hot tub for the first time in way too long… and the list goes on and on. i need to go on vacation more often. i really do love exploring and seeing how other places and people work. i hadn’t really gone away since sungod at UCSD in 2009… how sad is that? but it was worth the wait, and i’m glad i got to enjoy it with my parents and our friends, too.

anyway, back to the over-indulging thing… last night, after continuous outings and meals and over-indulging, i unexpectedly got a moderately large dosage of homesickness. it wasn’t really any one thing, either. i just suddenly felt super worn out… from vacation. isn’t that an oxymoron? i felt so detached from my regular life. i hardly used my phone at all this weekend, aside from checking in to places because i like doing that. but yeah, i definitely reached a point where i just wanted to be home doing nothing in particular. it made me think of the deadmau5 theory (that apparently only @popolol fully understands) or any other famous person who basically gets all that they want and is unhappy… it gets super old, super quick.

for me, it only took two days. you know what i missed most? mediocrity. in TWO days, the thing i missed most was not getting what i wanted… there’s nothing to strive or yearn for when you’re sitting on the highest floor of the best casino/resort in town sharing a [free] cocktail with some elite members of society. the thing that stuck out the most for me is that it wasn’t even the best part of the weekend; my favorite parts included indoor snowball fights, being obnoxious and intoxicated in the lobby waiting for our shuttle, embarrassing ourselves in virginia city, and watching “too cute” on animal planet throughout the weekend. none of those things required anything too special or expensive to achieve… maybe a tv and cable for animal planet, but if you have pets it works just the same. i feel like that’s how my life is. people look at me and think i’m spoiled, and for the most part, they’re right. but you know what? that isn’t even close to being the best part of my life. the best part is the parts where you don’t look for inspiration, it just happens. i live paycheck to paycheck. i’m about to graduate college with absolutely nothing to back me up as a foundational career. i might be part of the higher end of the working class, but holy fuck, the working class is the best. or at least to me. i loved this vacation because not only was it relaxing and over-indulging (come on, i HELLA enjoyed those parts, despite all that i just said) as a vacation should be, but i’m going to go back to work tomorrow and be happier than i was at work last week… because i love where i live, i love who i surround myself with, i love what i do, and i don’t need money or perks or waivers or buffets to be happy. i just feel bad for the people who have all they ever wanted and still aren’t happy. the lifestyle i had this weekend was nice for a visit, but i could never live in that realm. i couldn’t be happy there, at least, and the only thing i ever want is happiness.